It has been forever since I last blogged. So right now, as I sit in the Infusion Room at Cancer Center of the Carolinas to get my back medicine, I thought it would be a good time. I’ve been thinking a lot recently about comparisons, and how different people treat me.
When I was home a few weeks ago for Chris’s graduation from Collegiate (yay Chris!), I was thinking a lot about the differences between Richmond and Greenville. Richmond is always extremely aware of my cancer. Whenever I am home, people are always coming up to me, asking how I’m feeling, and telling me that they’ve been praying for me. I think that it is because I was in Richmond when I was at my worst. People there saw me when I was emaciated and getting pushed around in a wheelchair. They saw how bad I was last summer, and seem relieved when they see me looking healthy.
Most people in Greenville never saw that. When they heard that I was sick, I was already home, and then they did not see me until I was much better when I returned in the fall. And when I came back to Furman, I wanted so desperately to be normal that I was able to put on a happy face even when I felt completely miserable. So, I think that when I returned to Furman, a lot of people there assumed I was totally fine. Both places have been a wonderful support for me, but it is always interesting for me to see how they respond in different ways. Sometimes both environments can be hard, but most of the time they are both just what I need.
Another comparison that I have noticed so clearly has to do with age. Adults don’t ever seem to fear asking me how I am doing, or mentioning my cancer. They aren’t afraid of discussing hard topics, and genuinely want to know how I am doing. College kids aren’t like that, for the most part. (I realize this is a generalization, so if you are a college student who isn’t like this, don’t worry!) Outside of my closest friends, people don’t ask questions about my cancer. I think they fear that they will make me upset, or that I will just burst into tears if you mention it. Or they fear that they are reminding me of something that I have forgotten. Both are not the case. In fact, I am always touched when people ask me how I am doing, or try to understand my cancer better, because it shows that they care.
I think that adults have grown more used to dealing with hard situations. Or they have had hard situations of their own, and better know how to react. College students haven’t seen enough issues like this to know how to react, and I think that they often choose the safe road by not reacting. Or they just don’t know what to say. Which is fine, because I realize that I would probably do exactly the same thing if I were on the other side. Sometimes it can be really hard though.
On a completely different note, I leave for France in a week!! While I am there, I am hoping to be able to at least post some pictures on the blog, to show my travels. At first, when I was thinking about it, I wasn’t sure if that was odd, to post about my trip on a blog where I primarily talk about sickness. But then I realized that the title of my blog is “the shadow proves the sunshine”. And this is a direct example of the sunshine in my life. I am going to France. And I have no doubt that the trip will be so much more incredible because of all the hard times I’ve had. So, over the next month, hopefully I can post pictures, and tell everyone how amazing France is!
Thanks for all the prayers! And thank you for sharing in my excitement about my trip! I can’t wait to be there, and start the adventures!
"But the Lord is faithful, and He will strengthen you, and protect you from the evil one... May the Lord continue to direct your hearts into God's love and Christ's perseverance." -2 Thessalonians 3:3,5
