Well, I guess as this year comes to an end, the time has finally come for another blog post. I was hoping that I would not have to use this anytime soon for updates on my scans. But things change quickly.
I had scans last Friday morning, two days before Christmas. That afternoon, the doctors called to say that they had found a recurrence near where I initially had surgery to remove my kidney. I think it came as a shock to everyone. Cancer had started to seem more distant, and less daunting, and I was feeling perfectly healthy. Two days later was Christmas and my 22nd birthday. Friday was definitely a hard day, but I feel like the Lord allowed me and my family to still celebrate and be joyful on Christmas, and to put cancer out of our minds at least for a little bit.
On Tuesday, we went to the doctor to see what he would recommend as the next step. I was certain he would make me go back on the miserable chemo medicine at the very least, or even make me have radiation or tell me not to go back to school. But I was so encouraged that he said none of that. He said that the spot is small, and while it is not good news, it could be a lot worse. Compared to most kidney cancer cases, mine is spreading incredibly slowly. So we decided to hold off on the chemo medicine, and get scans in two months to see if there has been any change. If it has continued to spread, I will have to start the medicine.
So, the news was hard, but it could have been worse. I am glad that I am able to return to school, and that I can wait at least two months before taking more of the chemo medicine. At the same time, it is scary that the cancer has returned. If I think about it too much it makes me really sad. It is crazy how quickly all of my old thoughts and fears came flooding back upon hearing that it had spread. The future is just always so unknown, whether you have cancer or not.
But God is good. I know there is a reason, and that the timing is His timing, so I am trying to find peace in that knowledge. God is so much bigger than cancer, and His plan for my life is so much more beautiful than what I could plan for myself. And it is almost a new year, and who knows what wonderful things are yet to come! Despite this hard news, I am determined to live fully, and enjoy this upcoming semester at school. I want to make the most of this time I have free of medicine and feeling healthy. In a few days, I am going to the Passion Conference in Atlanta, which is a huge Christian conference for college students in the Georgia Dome. I am excited to see what the Lord teaches me there, and pray that it will encourage me and give me strength in these hard times.
“I have told you these things so that in Me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world!” John 16:33
“The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned… For to us a child is born, and to us a Son is given.” Isaiah 9:2,6
