The title of this blog comes from song lyrics that I heard many years ago by Switchfoot. And ever since the first time I heard it, these words have never left me. It makes so much sense. Although you might be standing in a shadow, that is direct evidence that the sun is still shining. I think that this is a great metaphor for my life right now. I am walking through some dark times. But I want these times to be evidence of the sun, and the bright glory of the Lord. And so while this blog will be chronicling some sad times in my life, I pray that it is also a testament to God, and a reminder of the good times in the midst of the shadows.

"I have said these things that in Me you may have peace. In this world, you will have troubles. But take heart, I have overcome the world!" John 16:33

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Scans.

Yesterday, I was hit with the realization that my big scans are in less than a week.  I think that subconsciously I have been keeping myself busy, so I don't have to think about it. But as I started to slow down, anxiety snuck up behind me.
My scans are on Wednesday, and it will be the first time that I have gotten scans since the beginning of August when I was at NIH. It is scary because over the summer, when I was home, I was getting scans practically every two weeks. So I was constantly being reassured that everything was okay and nothing was progressing. But now I haven't heard in three months. And while I am sure that everything will be fine, it is still scary. These will tell if the chemo has worked, and been worthwhile. It will tell what my next step in the process should be. And it will give me a picture of overall, how fast the cancer is moving.
It is hard, because (apart from a miracle) one day I will go in for a scan and they will tell me it has spread. It is not gone forever.
I really believe that the Lord is going to do great things. And I just have to remind myself of that when I get afraid. I have so much respect for cancer patients who fight for so many years. It has been less than nine months for me, and yet it feels like a lifetime. It is so hard sometimes.
So Wednesday will mean an MRI and two CT scans. I am really used to both now, but CT scans are especially tough for me. The three scans will get a picture of my whole body, and if there is anything new, it will show up. And then it will all be over by Thanksgiving Day, and there is so much to be thankful for!

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might." -Ephesians 6:10
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1 comment:

  1. AnnhornerNovember 21, 2010 at 10:52 PM

    Dear Perrin,
    In the awesome WV mountains, you have been especially in our hearts! We've prayed for you in the kitchen as well as in the creek; on the porch and on the summit....praying for Wednesday to be a very good day!

    In this advent season of waiting, I pray that you will rest secure in Emmanuel, almighty God right there with you, Perrin.

    Wishing you and your beautiful family a most special Thanksgiving!
    Love, Annhorner

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