Happy Easter! What an encouraging day. I spent the day at Hope Church and with my family, which was perfect. The weather was beautiful, and it was wonderful to be surrounded by so many people I love.
I also couldn’t help but think about where I was this time last year. I feel like I do this a lot now. Since it has been more than one year, I am constantly being reminded of where I was last year, what surgery I was having, or how sick I was.
Today I was constantly reminded of how far I’ve come. Easter was early last year, and so I had only been out of the hospital a few weeks after surgery to remove my kidney. And I was in bad shape. I was incredibly sick and exhausted, unable to keep down a single meal or do any physical activity. I was still taking a ridiculous amount of painkillers, which were hardly helping, and were only making me more sick everyday. Last year I was unable to go to church at all because I was too weak and exhausted to leave my house. The whole family came over for lunch though. Right as I was about to walk downstairs to see them, I got really sick, but still brushed my teeth and went down to see them anyway, despite feeling miserable. I remember that I could barely sit for forty-five minutes in a chair, before I had to be taken back upstairs to lie down again. Little did I know that I still had some of the hardest days ahead of me, with the surgery to put in my port, two weeks of radiation and numerous heart-wrenching doctors appointments. Even on such a joyous holiday, it didn’t feel like there was much worth celebrating.
But praise the Lord this Easter was different, and provided a stark contrast to the sadness of last year. Today I felt happy and alive. And it was powerful for me to sit back and realize what this day truly signifies.
Because of Christ, when we die it is not the end. I have cancer. But no matter what happens, I can rest in confidence knowing that everything will be okay. Christ defeated death, so that we don’t have to die forever or be afraid, because the battle has been won!
“No guilt in life, no fear in death, this is the power of Christ in me. From life’s first cry, to final breath, Jesus commands my destiny. No power of hell, no scheme of man, can ever pluck me from His hand, til He returns, or calls me home, here in the love of Christ I’ll stand.”
So, when I become afraid or unsure, I can rest in faith and assurance that the Lord has already won. I will one day stand triumphant, with no more cancer, or sickness, or tears, and the world will be new and beautiful. And whether that day is soon or far in the future, I do not know. But in the midst of the chaos and pain, what I do know is that God is good, and God is victorious. Praise the Lord.
“Death is swallowed up in victory. Oh death, where is your victory? Oh death where is your sting?” -1 Corinthians 15: 54-55
Oh, Perrin! What a powerful post! I didn't 'know' you last year on Easter. And although we still don't 'know' each other, I've been following your journey for a little while and I am moved by the ground that God's made in your life and in your health over this past year. Hallelujah!
ReplyDeleteGreat meeting you yesterday! All my best to you and your family!
Praise God! We say we believe He is always good and always victorious. Yet when someone has walked as you have walked and says such as you say, there is POWER and ENCOURAGEMENT and LIFE in the words. Thank you, thank you for sharing your struggles, your courage, your faith.
ReplyDelete2 Cor. 4:18
Love to you and continued prayers.
dorenda white
You are so strong P! Wow, the Lord works in mysterious ways and each time I read one of your posts, I'm just so reminded that He works! He is now living and working in and through us and wow what an honor. You are so strong, again and I love you so much!
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