The title of this blog comes from song lyrics that I heard many years ago by Switchfoot. And ever since the first time I heard it, these words have never left me. It makes so much sense. Although you might be standing in a shadow, that is direct evidence that the sun is still shining. I think that this is a great metaphor for my life right now. I am walking through some dark times. But I want these times to be evidence of the sun, and the bright glory of the Lord. And so while this blog will be chronicling some sad times in my life, I pray that it is also a testament to God, and a reminder of the good times in the midst of the shadows.

"I have said these things that in Me you may have peace. In this world, you will have troubles. But take heart, I have overcome the world!" John 16:33

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Waiting

I had another set of scans today. They always stress me out, but these definitely did more than most. I have been off of my medicine since January, and so these scans are a really big deal. If there is no spread, then that is wonderful news. But if there is spread, then it would definitely change my summer plans, because I would have to go back on medicine, or worse. I hate feeling like I have to live from scan-to-scan. And now that I know what it feels like to be healthy, I am scared to lose that feeling, and scared to go back to feeling perpetually sick.
I also have the most wonderful summer ahead of me. I seriously do not think I could be more excited. For May and June, I will be staying in Greenville, and babysitting for a bunch of families with the most precious children. I'll be living in a really cute house with two of my friends, and a ton of other friends will be living here this summer. So I am hoping to use those months to get to do all of the fun things around Greenville that I don't have time to do during the year. I think it will be incredible.
And then in July, I am going to.... FRANCE! I have been waiting to blog about this because I wanted to be certain about it. But I am going to go with my mom for two and a half weeks, and travel all around the country. I don't even think I can find the words to show my excitement right now. I would have to type in all caps and with thousands of exclamation points to even show a fraction of it.
Needless to say, I honestly feel like I have the most exciting summer ever ahead of me. It almost doesn't seem real. I think that that is why I am extra nervous about these scans. Because I don't want anything to change these plans. I don't want any bad news. Sometimes it is scary to hope.
But I am choosing to hope nonetheless, and to move forward with confidence that everything will be okay. I should get results of the scans in the next few days. Pray that there is no spread, so that I can continue to stay off of medicine, and so that I can continue to gain strength and feel alive. But for now I am just waiting to hear results, and praying that nothing has changed so that I can start my wonderful summer free of fear or sadness.

"Wait for the Lord. Be strong and take heart, and wait for the Lord." -Psalm 27:14

"Here my cry for help, my King and my God, for to you I pray. In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning, I lay my requests before You and wait expectantly." -Psalm 5:3-4

"We wait in hope for the Lord; He is our help and our shield." -Psalm 33:20

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4 comments:

  1. AnnhornerMay 3, 2011 at 9:28 AM

    Dear Perrin,
    Your post reminds me of Romans 8. Know that "we groan inwardly as we wait eagerly" and...."patiently" along with you!

    Remember that you are more than a conqueror, through Him who loves you, Perrin. You are a valiant and beautiful conqueror!

    Easter blessings and love, Annhorner

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  2. ValMay 4, 2011 at 10:26 AM

    This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it!

    I am so thankful for the news of stability, the spirit of hope, the freedom from pain, the delight of the soul, and the love of the Father you are enjoying, Perrin! We rejoice and give thanks with full, full hearts right along with you.

    Que le Seigneur te bénisse et te garde, peut-il faire luire sa face sur toi et te donne la paix!

    Love,
    Val

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  3. missy rainerMay 4, 2011 at 10:36 PM

    Perrin,
    I have not seen you in so many years, but, wow! what a wonderful young woman you have grown into. Your faith, courage and resilience makes me feel so little in the big scope of life. I know the Lord has blessed you, and I know how proud your mom & dad are of you. I love your mom so much, and have the fondest memories of us at Hutchison and growing up! I will be praying for your peace of mind & comfort while waiting on the results.
    Love, Missy Rainer

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  4. AnonymousMay 4, 2011 at 11:07 PM

    Dt 31:6... praying all the time, Perrin.

    ReplyDelete

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