The title of this blog comes from song lyrics that I heard many years ago by Switchfoot. And ever since the first time I heard it, these words have never left me. It makes so much sense. Although you might be standing in a shadow, that is direct evidence that the sun is still shining. I think that this is a great metaphor for my life right now. I am walking through some dark times. But I want these times to be evidence of the sun, and the bright glory of the Lord. And so while this blog will be chronicling some sad times in my life, I pray that it is also a testament to God, and a reminder of the good times in the midst of the shadows.

"I have said these things that in Me you may have peace. In this world, you will have troubles. But take heart, I have overcome the world!" John 16:33

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

I don't usually let myself get mad. I've always operated this way. I don't like the feeling of being angry, and sometimes even feel like there is something wrong with it. Like I am not supposed to feel that way. I don't like getting mad at people because I hate conflict. And I don't like being mad at circumstances because that won't help make things better.
But the past few days I have been angry at cancer. Mrs. O'Connor passed away yesterday from cancer, and I legitimately got angry. She's the mom of a friend of mine from high school, and went to church with me. Hearing of her death broke my heart. She was always so incredibly encouraging to me every time I would see her in church, and she never failed to have a smile on her face, no matter how she was feeling on the inside. Even in her own sickness, she prayed for me. It hurts me when someone dies from cancer. Physically hurts me.
When I heard about it, I got so angry. Angry that cancer exists and that it brings so many tears. Angry that bad things happen. The Lord promises that "all things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His plan" (Romans 2:28). And that "no one who waits on the Lord will ever be put to shame." So right now, I am angry at cancer. And trying to maintain hope that things will get better. That life will not always be this hard. That one day I will look back on this phase of my life and know that their was a purpose behind it all. That the Lord has a plan.

"You who seek God, let your hearts revive!" Psalm 69:32
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2 comments:

  1. ValJanuary 18, 2011 at 11:27 PM

    Cancer's worse than war. Without pretext or purpose or plan, it wreaks its havoc. In and of itself, it has no point. What could be its point?! It makes me angry too. Thank God that His plans and purposes for us cannot be thwarted by cancer or by the pains, hardships, and wrenching sadnesses caused by it. I'm praying for you and your friend who lost her mom. In shared anger, Val

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  2. JohnDozJanuary 21, 2011 at 12:26 PM

    Hey, Perrin. Thank you so much for the gift of your heart... wide open. As I see your amazing faith allowing God to use your very difficult trial to be more and more like Jesus, I see how your truths and loves become more and more like HIM! As you well know, God in Christ hated... and was very, very angry... wept a lot as well... at sin's impact on His perfect creation (Isaiah 53:3; John 11:35)!

    Even as Jesus knew so deep inside that His death and resurrection would make all things NEW, He hated sin in ALL of its forms, just like His Father does... and we should too. Your righteous anger at sin's impact on God's good creation is "Bang On!", as they say in Toronto!!

    Thank you Perrin for being such a REAL person... a New Creation... engaged with life and death unlike most people whom I have ever known. You're a blessing and a blesser. JohnDoz

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