The title of this blog comes from song lyrics that I heard many years ago by Switchfoot. And ever since the first time I heard it, these words have never left me. It makes so much sense. Although you might be standing in a shadow, that is direct evidence that the sun is still shining. I think that this is a great metaphor for my life right now. I am walking through some dark times. But I want these times to be evidence of the sun, and the bright glory of the Lord. And so while this blog will be chronicling some sad times in my life, I pray that it is also a testament to God, and a reminder of the good times in the midst of the shadows.

"I have said these things that in Me you may have peace. In this world, you will have troubles. But take heart, I have overcome the world!" John 16:33

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Who knows the future?

This week has both been a challenge and a blessing. I have loved getting to see more of my friends, start classes, start RUF and have some time to rest after O-Week. It has been incredible to see everyone after being away so long, and all of my friends have been so encouraging.
But it has also been hard fighting the exhaustion and feeling sick. The chemo is manageable, but it really does take all my energy away. No matter how much I sleep, I cannot seem to ever fully wake up. I get easily frustrated with myself when I cannot do everything that I want to do, but I feel like I am starting to learn my own limitations.
One challenge that I had not anticipated has really struck me in the past couple of days. College is such a future-oriented place. Everyone spends all day talking about where they are going to be after college, what internships they want for next summer, who they want to marry. It is hard for me because six months ago I was exactly the same. I felt like I had my whole life planned out, and now the future all seems so up in the air for me.
I feel like I have a whole new perspective on the future, which I am so grateful for (although it is really hard too). Our lives are completely in the Lord’s hands, and as much as we plan and set dates, He is the one in control of it all. So planning for where you will be twenty years down the road seems crazy to me, because who knows what twists and turns your life will take between now and then. 

“Faith never knows where it is being led, but it loves and knows the One who is leading.” –Anonymous

Without faith, it feels like I am stepping into an unknown abyss of my future. But with God, it is like I am facing that darkness while holding a flashlight. It will be okay. And even though I might not see everything coming, at least that flashlight can give me the courage to take the next step. So I pray that I will learn to take life one day at a time, and that in that I will learn what it truly means to trust God with the future and with everything. Trust is a hard lesson to learn…

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." -Hebrews 11:1
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3 comments:

  1. timAugust 28, 2010 at 2:07 PM

    Beautiful post, Perrin. Thanks so much for being brave enough to share your thoughts with all of us in this way. And thanks for meeting with me yesterday--it made my day. tim

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  2. elizabeth childreyAugust 28, 2010 at 4:42 PM

    Wow! Your insights are truly messages from God - thank you for reminding us that we all need to take one day at a time and trust God in the process!! Love you tons. liz

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  3. CaitlinAugust 30, 2010 at 6:40 PM

    P! You started a blog like we talked about yay!!! i'm getting ready to update mine. LOVE YOU

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